OBJECTS CAN TELL STORIES – The candlestick that reminds me to stay with myself

By Marilú Gasparo 
Translated by Herbert Meck

I’ve read that some of us have to “fall” in order to truly find ourselves, face our demons and eventually befriend them.  

Perhaps it was the same for me. Certainly at some point in my life, about three years ago, something changed in me.  

I witnessed my blossoming, perhaps the first. I began to realise what my priorities were, I learned to love and take care of myself again. 

It was at this stage of my life that a small object found its way to me, which has since experienced five moves with me. A small candlestick; it was given to me by someone very dear to me after returning from a trip to Morocco.  

It is a small thuja wood object handmade by a local artisan.  

The candlestick has a round, flat shape and feels very smooth, without any decoration. Its circumference barely protrudes from the palm of my hand. It smells of wood and incense.  

I love to light candles, and given its small size, it was not difficult for me to take it with me when I moved.  

But isn’t it strange that this object is really one of the few things that came with me to Munich?  

In recent years, because of my plans, I always knew that I would not stay long in the houses where I lived. For that reason, I didn’t keep much with me.  Some things I have given away, many others are with my parents.  

The fact that I have not been tied to carrying large boxes has given me a sense of freedom, albeit illusory. Freedom from what is material, freedom from this so consumerist world and freedom to be able to choose to move without much difficulty. 

Is it then perhaps a coincidence that I carry an object that reminds me of the period of my life when I felt I had found the way to myself?  

The little candlestick is there, as if to remind me not to go back there: back to that dark time, back to my self confused by my own feelings. 

The little candlestick is there, as if to remind me of that special person who is so far away from me, but continues to inspire me with his life.  

It reminds me to feel joyful and inspired and that I want to strive for this with courage. I believe that happiness is not just a coincidence in life, but that we should learn to listen to ourselves to understand what can make us happy. This takes courage, because if we listen to ourselves, we will not always hear only what may be “easier” or “more convenient to implement”. 

Many of the items we own can’t really be called necessities. We could get rid of a lot of junk.  

However, I would like to consider that some objects can have the function of stimulating us to live the way we want, to remind us of a past that allows us to imagine the future we want and that can become a reality. 

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