By Adriana Cuevas
Translated by Herbert Meck
I idealise you, I think of you and suddenly a pink cloud forms where you and I are the perfect couple. Sometimes I feel you as a hero who saves me again and again. My feelings are incredibly motivating. It’s the only way I can start the day with a lot of energy and get my projects done without delay. My thoughts and ideas with you are the fuel in my life. And sometimes when I realise the reality, I feel a deep sadness because you are not with me. You are and remain a fantasy. You don’t want to be with me. Or rather, you don’t even know anything about my feelings for you. I think you’re great, but I don’t dare tell you. But finally I reach your heart. You actually want to be with me! And suddenly I realise that my feelings for you are different. I realise how much stress life with you means. It’s beautiful and I enjoy your closeness, feeling you… But it was much more beautiful when I idealised you, when I only dreamt of us.
However, this is about me, not about you. About my feelings, my fantasy, my expectations, my idealisation of people, events and circumstances in my thoughts. In the here and now, in reality, I like you, I like us and our daily interaction.
Do you sometimes also make up a completely unrealistic story and experience all this as if it were your real present?
Interpersonal relationships can trigger a lot in you, but our inner world, that of our thoughts, manages to move us even more because we feel, think, act, live and love according to it.